Oh, now this was one of those songs that went under the radar. Rza, better known as Bobby Digital, deals with relationship issues and domestic violence. As awful as the situations are, the lyrics reflect the anger, misguided passion, and madness that is associated with it. Even the video is graphically compelling. With Domestic Violence, Rza spoke on an issue that never gets old and only wades in the pools of importance.

Yet, there are those that long for their lover even when the relationship goes south to the lair of Lucifer.

Question:

I was with my boyfriend for about 1-1/2 years.  We had our constant ups and downs.  Found him to be a bit controlling, which doesn’t work with me.  But, we did have much in common and enjoyed each other immensely when it was good.  I would break up often because of what I had to deal with.  At the end of April, we had broken up. Still, we had a trip planned for beginning of May.

Big mistake.

After much ado, we ended up going together deciding it will make or break us. It broke us. We ended up in a volatile fight. He hit me.  I said that was a deal breaker for me and I was out.  He said and did everything to keep us together (including going to counseling).  I wouldn’t bite.

During his trying to get us together he discovered I had used his credit card in the amount of around $500.00 without him knowing.  You could imagine his reaction and that was the deal breaker for him.  He said we are done and aren’t good for each other.  The bigger issue is that my heart aches for him.  Not that I would want him back, but just to know that he is missing me as I him and that he would want me back.  I need that sense of security.  Do you think he will contact me again?  I have played the “no contact” rule for a month and a half so far.  Any advice?

Answer:

Whew! Now THAT was a lengthy question! I am not sure if my answer will be as long. But, I can give it a shot.

The chances of him contacting you are very slim. If he hasn’t contacted you in over a month, then I’m not sure if he is ready to come into contact with you again. He could contact you if he feels that he wants to get back with you. However, this money issue seems to be a big “no-no” in his book. Thus, there is a chance that he won’t be trying to blow your phone up or “Text His Ex Back” like Michael Fiore.

People will buy anything to gain happiness. Even when that happiness isn't worth the price of admission.

People will buy anything to gain happiness. Even when that happiness isn’t worth the price of admission.

The biggest issue you need to deal with, however, is this desire to “be missed”. Noting that he beat you is one thing. Yet, after all of this you “want to hear from him again so you can see if he misses you like you miss him”? I find that to be slightly disturbing. It isn’t the remaining feelings; you love him. But it is the need for security and ego stroking. What is the bigger point of getting your ego stroked by someone who you probably won’t get back with?

I am just saying. It isn't wise at a time like this.

I am just saying. It isn’t wise at a time like this.

If you really want to see something happen, then maybe you need to contact him. Sure, he beat on you. But you seem to be so concerned about his feelings for you. You want to feel the security of being desired (and not loved properly), just call him back. That way, you can find out the truth and move on with your life.

I am talking moonwalking on his ass.

I am talking moonwalking on his ass.

At the end of the day, if you aren’t trying to get back with him then you need to find ego stroking and security from a man that doesn’t beat on you. I understand that you are still in love with him and miss him. However, it is an exercise in futility if you have no plans to be with the man. He doesn’t seem like he is all that responsible anyways. Do yourself a favor and get into a healthier relationship that doesn’t resemble something off of a reality show.

Speak English, chick!!!

Speak English, chick!!!

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

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