Please be reminded that I started late and I missed the first 45 minutes of the show. Then again, judging from the rest of the debacle called The BET Hip Hop Awards of 2013, it seems that I didn’t miss much at all. So, for a recap of 1:15 of a show that was more “show” than “awards”(you know it is the truth), I shall give a partially thorough review:

1.)    Action Bronson hasn’t lost a step. Even if he grew his hair back, he still got that NYC flow. It is what it is. Now if only I could get him to make me some baked ziti Ghostface Killah style.

2.)    Travis Scott is my dude. But I swear he didn’t look at the camera at any time. Was he trying to remember his rhyme? Was he shy? I don’t know. He did cool, though.

Thick ems. The end.

Thick ems. The end.

3.)    Tiffany Foxx has a phat butt. She didn’t rhyme long enough for me to figure out anything about what she rhymed about. But the phat butt in those tights made it worthwhile. Eye candy on the mic. That is about it.

4.)    Lil Kim also has a phat butt. But her rhyme wasn’t very overwhelming. It was actually underwhelming. Plus, I had to see her face. It can still presently bring nightmares.

5.)    Schoolboy Q’s performance of “Collard Greens” isn’t made for award shows. When you have a song like that, you need a crowd that is going to get stupid-retarded. I’m not feeling this “too cool crowd” stuff in the first place. Where is the energy at? Where are the people going wild? Screw all of that. TDE performances need energy!

6.)    The same can be said for Kendrick Lamar’s performance. See what I said above.

they did pretty good.

they did pretty good.

7.)    I see Joell Ortiz still got some flow on him. With references to Lamar Odom, sacking Matt Ryan, and making it rain, he can still get it in.

8.)    The same can be mentioned for Crooked I. Period. I didn’t know hip hop was called population control, though. Did I hear that right? Head hunting = going Karrine Stephans? Dope verse, sir. Dope verse.

9.)    Royce is Royce. He may be 5’9”, but he is still raw with the lyrics. Been at it hard for the past decade and a half. Yet, he can still write killer rhymes. Must be the Detroit in him.

At least her ass is fake as it may be.

At least her ass is phat…as fake as it may be.

10.) I see Big Tigger and Jocelyn are having fun listening to her say “Stebbie” instead of “Stevie”.

11.)  Drake is the people’s champ? I guess so. Started from the bottom like Jocelyn’s booty before the enhancements.

12.) Rock came from rock bottom, huh Jay Rock? I likes that, sire.

13.) Ab Soul said “gimme the loot, I’m the skinny Biggie”. Man, this dude never lets me down. Oh, and y’all actually still wondering about him rhyme laps around Jay-Z? He still on that BS. I swear…TDE goes for jugulars.

14.) Isaiah Rashad = the new cat. He did his thing on the low. I am glad he went in, though.

kendrick lamar goes in

15.) Ghetto boy until he is unemployed with a day job? Crack the Davinci code? Serve cats like Jeffrey? Know the drill like a lateral? Your career ain’t spit unless you got some Kendrick in it? Shots have been fired. I hope you rappers ducked and reloaded.

16.) Wait, they rebound by playing French Montana after that Kendrick lyrical demolition? Hilarious. Such spectrum gliding and pendulum swinging between super lyrical and super nonsensical.

17.) Eve is presenting an award to MC Lyte. Damn, MC Lyte is still great. A lot of these so called “rhyme spitters” could learn something from her. Oh, and that is male AND female alike.

18.) Chocolate Drop! Bars, man! Bars!!!

19.) I don’t know what is more hilarious about this Husbands of Hollywood cypher: Kevin Hart or Nick Cannon’s verse.

20.) Then again, Chocolate Drop made it all worth it. Straight up: this was part rhyme genius and part drunken foolery. And he wasn’t even drunk. You have to love it.

21.) Yo Gotti gets on stage with a fly “letterman jacket” and do his thang. Then, Rocko pops up  to do “UOENO” (or however it is spelled). And Rich Homie Quan was a big man in a smedium jacket during his performance. Not hating. Just stating. I like his music, so it is what it is.

22.) Bone Thugs N’Harmony ended the situation off reminding people of their multiplatinum career. They had some hits. I just wish that the performance was with a more….hyped crowd.

23.) So, so what is up with the “gift” that Uncle Snoop gave out to the crowd. A bacon egg-n-cheese biscuit (did I get that right) with a Mr. Pibb? I guess that is a reasonable parting gift if you just left Waffle House.

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!

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