bitterness

Throughout my few years of blogging, I have always been amazed at some of the responses that I receive. Some of them are overwhelmingly positive. Others? Not so much. However, I am still thankful for the fact that I can sometimes illicit a response.

Yet, it is one of those responses to my blog that has me in a state of wonder.

Recently, I posted the blog “Can Black People Ever Shine?” due to the trending of “whitegirlsrock” during the Black Girls Rock program. I found it a little disheartening that this would trend in response to a posivite, and necessary, celebration of Black women. However, a reader noted that the trend was started by Black men (as if it mattered to me). I objected to not be concerned with that. Rather, I was concerned with the overall fact that a lot of white people take offense when Black people celebrate themselves in a society that deems us unworthy of human interaction.

And THAT is when the problem started. Between the rants of “the Black man being the Black woman’s enemy (along with white women)” to me “mansplaining” and having a “non-intersectional approach” to the situation proving her point, I noticed that there was an underlying issue: she had an issue with men. Actually, she had an issue with Black men in particular. In short, she was giving me the third degree due to some sort of issue she had with the Black male populace.

Oh, and she is not alone in her issues with the paradigm that is Black maleness. Orville Lloyd Douglas, a Guardian writer, constructed a recent article entitled I Hate Being A Black Man. As much as I wanted to sympathize, he spent too much time with his self-loathing and caring about other people’s perceptions. Then there is the Sisters, It is Time to STOP Giving Birth To Men That Hate You article written by Christelyn Karazin that lacked objectivity and was rife with bitterness. Therefore, it can be said that Black males can be associated with social disdain.

At least Orville Lloyd Douglas notes that it is society that helps cause his self-esteem issues. But still.

My issue about all of this is that both of these situations just don’t take on healthy views of Black manhood.

My main concern with Orville Lloyd Douglas’s article is that the self-esteem issues that he has are unnecessary and can be fixed without an emotional support dog. I do agree with the fact that negative visual representations of the Black male do affect the psyche. However, at some point, you have to be “comfortable in your own skin”. Too many of his issues are about acceptance. Orville doesn’t experience acceptance. Yet, finding one’s self-esteem is more about self-acceptance and less about external approval.

You see those people that don't like you? They have Tebow sized hang ups.

You see those people that don’t like you? They have Tebow sized hang ups.

What is the point of hanging yourself on other people’s hang ups? Let them hang themselves by eliminating the self-imposed nooses.

As far as the article written by Karazin, I can only hope that she figures out that a lack of objectivity will never get any situation anywhere in life. Painting Black men as these overall haters of Black women isn’t just unfair; it is also untrue. I will admit that there are those Black men that suffer from the Tommy Sotomayor Syndrome because they want to be bitter men for the rest of their lives. Yet, her psychological explanation didn’t get into any physical aspects of the situation. In addition, there was never an explanation to the alternative/opposite of her beliefs (i.e. good men and young men that love their mothers unconditionally). In the end, what type of enlightenment can you offer people with a message that is tainted by bitterness and overall ignorance?

Self-hatred and bitterness of any kind is pretty much worthless. When it is racially infused, then it becomes ugly and disparaging.  At some point, all of this self-loathing needs to stop. The same can be said for the excessive bitterness. It does no one any good to continue such negativity that is both avoidable and non-productive.

Love who you are and love those that reciprocate that love. It may seem hard, but it is as simple as simple can get.

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!

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