Sometimes, there are situations where your significant other seems to be “trippin’ out”. Maybe they aren’t acknowledging the obvious. Or, maybe you aren’t realizing the truth of the situation. No matter the situation, this Prince Markie Dee song makes sense. In retrospect, people have to figure out what their present situation holds.   This song really helped me with a situation in which I had to help someone in their own love life. 
 
Question:  

I need help with this girl I like.   I really like her and we spend a lot of time together, but I’m not quite sure she likes me as much as I like her. We’ve known each other from school for about three years, but since about March, we started talking a lot and eventually we reached the hugging stage. Sometimes we’d just stand there in an embrace. I’ve started to walk her home and today we held hands on the way home but she doesn’t look at me the same way I look at her..   I tell her she is really pretty, smart and all the things she is but she is self-conscious and the conversation is always stilted when I tell her, and it’s pretty obvious I like her. Even her friends notice something between us.   Care to give me any advice?  

Answer:  

Sure. I would love to give you advice on this one. She needs to realize that what she has is more than “a friendship”.  

The biggest problem with many relationships, albeit in youth or in full grown maturity, is that we don’t realize how strong feelings really are between two people. Of course, the relationship starts off as a “friendship”. Then, people start spending endless amounts of time either hanging out or communicating. The connection becomes stronger. The bond becomes almost infused. In truth, the two people become a sort of “item” (friendly or not).  

Then, there is the “avoidance of truth”. You have someone feeling “more than the other”. Or, you plain have someone in denial. However it happens, you may end up having someone that wants to be “just friends” or “want to be friends with benefits”. In falsehood, there is a lot of disavowal of honesty within the situation.  

So, that leaves us with two main possibilities: the insipid “friend zone” or the even more hindering “friends with benefits”.

friends_with_benefits_toothpaste_for_dinner

I mean, it only makes sense.

  I can slightly respect “friend zone” because some people need to remain friends and do nothing more. But the “friends with benefits” thing is idiotic (which I explained many moons ago). Please remember that if you are romantically involved with friends, it can only be two things: a relationship or a love affair. Then again, I don’t really see the different between those two outside of one being way more acceptable than the other.  

And this leads up to YOUR present situation. You can’t be “just friends” with a female that you walk around holding hands with and doing all of these “romantic things” for. Walking her home? Overindulgent hugging and long embraces? She wants the benefits of having a friendship and doing all the things lovers do with the least amount of emotional investment.

Oh, man......

Oh, man……

  Maybe she is scared. Maybe she doesn’t know how to handle relationships. I do know one thing: all of that crap isn’t your damn problem.   So, from here, I think she needs to pick which side she is going to be on. If she wants “simple friendship”, then she needs to go for that. If she wants to do all of that “lover stuff”, then she needs to realize that her emotions have to be invested. She wants the best of both worlds. Yet, I have mentioned before that only Jay-Z and R-Kelly tried to have that. It failed. If they couldn’t succeed in having “the best of both worlds”, then I think her chances are slim.  

Cover of "Best of Both Worlds"

Best of Both Worlds – proof that it just does not work.

    She needs to be a “friend” or a “lover”. She can’t be a “friend with the benefits that lovers” give.   Play the game fair or find another sport. Period.  

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!
 

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