Kendrick Lamar had it right with this jam right here. Some people just need to be left to their own devices. As much as you love and care for them, their burdens become YOUR burdens. When that happens, then there has to be a change. Either they lighten up the load OR you cut them off.
Oh, and there are examples to when the burden becomes too much to bear. You will see when I get into this next question.
I have been with my fiancée almost a year. I have tried my best to treat him right. But, he always doubts me. He yelled at me and told me he reminded me of his mother, who beat him and mistreated him. He doesn’t trust anyone because of his past girlfriends. Because of this, I haven’t eaten in a week. I’ve lost 15 pounds and haven’t done anything but cried. I do this because I feel I am not good enough.
You ever heard the old adage “misery loves company”? Well you better remember it cause that “man” that you are with is miserable as hell.
As a man, I am questioning his manhood at the moment. I question it because, as men, we are raised to “avoid those females that come with the extra baggage”. Yet, I see that more and more men are having their little “emotional man purses” with their own baggage they carry around. As I have been taught, this type of madness should be outrageous. From my understanding, men need to make sure all baggage they carry have essentials and not weighed down unnecessary stuff.
Then again, now that this situation is more prominent, maybe I was taught to believe the wrong things about men. I digress.
In actuality, there are plenty of examples of these “men with baggage” (or so it seems). Ami Angelowicz and Amelia McDonell-Parry noted there are quite a few of these “baggage claimers” to avoid, ranging from “the addict” to even the “hero” types . With such a respectable list of emotional men, I had to read along and figure out where your fiancee fit in the grand scheme of things. In fact, I noticed that he was the “eternally heartbroken” type . In the end, men out there TRULY are bigger “bag ladies” than women a lot of times.
What makes him eternally broken hearted is his disposition with his relationships. You are being punished for the sins of another woman . Yet, you stuck around to help him in his rut. The problem is that he hasn’t found the proper closure for HIS issues . Thus, with this broken hearted man, you are stuck in a rut.
My suggestion is this: you need to get him to realize that he is the cause/root of his issues with you. You both have come too far to have this extra baggage to hold you back. If he isn’t willing to drop his baggage, then you (sadly) will have to be willing to drop him. You already disrupted your health and well-being for his issues. Now, it is time for him to man up and see his issues for what they are: Goyard bags of madness.
‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!