As a man, I would have to admit that plenty of us play too many love games. No, I am not talking about the moment, in a tennis match, when an opponent fails to score a point [1].I am talking about something different.  I am referring to loving someone, while you sometimes say you don’t, playing hard to get [2]. I am talking about being trivial about matters of the heart.

Let me clarify with all those that are reading: this is not an anti-men post. I’m a man. I love being a man. If I were to compare males and females, males would always get my vote of confidence. Thus, this post does not exist to disenfranchise all men.

Rather, I am making this post because I have a reader that had an issue. Her issue may be simple: she just may have a childish man with phobias for “settling down”. Or, it could be the situation from previous times.

In fact, I think an explanation is due at the moment.

Love Game Question:

My crush is either afraid of being with me or moving on with his life for happiness. Let me explain.

He and I work together on music. Many of our friends always link us up with each other. They would say little things like “Oh, you both should date!” or “Are you both a couple?” when we were around. He would shrug it off. I would, too. Eventually, my feelings for him did evolve into something much more. I started to realize just how good of a man he was.

Eventually, we became intimate. And when I mean “intimate”, I mean the majority of what could happen besides full blown intercourse. After a certain musical journey him and I (with the rest of my musical crew) embarked on recently, I shared my feelings with him. I felt I had to do it for the sake of my sanity and our friendship/whatever.

After that, things became even more mind numbing. He began to act nonchalant, for one thing. Another issue is the recurrence of an ex love of his that wants nothing to do with him. Yet, this ex occupies his heart and soul. Then, it is the weird behavior and subliminal messages via social media that he tends to send out. He seemed to become quite a “different” person once I let him know that I wanted him in my life (on a higher level).

I decided to keep it moving and let him figure out what he plans on doing. No more attention is given to him or his strange behavior. Is this the right thing to do?

Love Games Answer:

Hell yes, this is the right thing to do! This is how these love games work: they take up time just to waste it.

First of all, there are two possible things going on here: he is either not totally into you like that OR he is afraid of getting into another situation that has the potential to fail. If he is not that into you, then he should have just explained all of that. However, some of us men do fear/avoid the “failure of relationships” that seems to permeate throughout society nowadays. It is as taxing to us as it is to you women out there. So, there are two possible issues floating around in love’s atmosphere.

love games elephant in the room

Then, there is the other elephant in the room that keeps eating your peanuts and leaving shells: the ex. Personally, he (and any other man) that lingers on with an ex need to stand up, drop their pants, and release the harness that their ex put on their nut sack so they can live their lives as men. These situations are borderline shameful. If they are an ex, then they need to be “X-ed out”. She isn’t a variable in his relationship equation anymore. That chick isn’t going to help him solve or even “solve for” anything. So, why is she still being used as a possible solution to his issues?

And all you math heads out there, I hope you paid attention to what I just said.

As great as this man is, he needs to get his shit together. As soon as you explained your love and adoration, he changes his behavior. Instead of explaining himself (or making a defining statement of his feelings), he does weirdo stuff. Plus, he lingers on with the permeating pachyderms that sit within the premises of his plans. He has too much going on that does not involve you.

So, he either figures out his life or you just figure out your life without him. Plain and simple. And tell him the love games are for Parker Brothers or Mattel or somebody.

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!

 

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