Now THIS was just an interesting song altogether. Maybe it was my age when it was popular (teenage years). Then again, I think it was the fact that they were talking about “risqué” topics. Sex was slightly taboo during the 90’s. There was overt sexuality out there. However, talking about it makes a bigger difference. In short, sex will always be the topic that swings the pendulum in this Western society.

In this present case, the pendulum has swung to the wrong side.

Question:

Why are men so stuck on sex instead of willing to get to know a person’s heart? Is anyone really interest in long term relationships or marriage anymore?

Answer: Men are stuck on sex because sex is great!

Okay, let me get serious for a moment.

Men, on some level, will always want/accept sex (if the situation allows). In 1989, psychologists Russell Clark and Elaine Hatfield conducted a social experiment at Florida State University dealing with young women approaching, and propositioning, young men for either dates or sex [1]. It was an experiment used to see how men deem sexuality in their lives and interactions. The notable aspect of the experiment: these women were “regular” to even slightly unattractive: no supermodels; no stilettos; no bare midriffs [2]. Yet, a vast number of those men agreed. It is safe to say that men will more than likely take up an offer on sex as long as the situation is right for them.

So, if you are looking for a man to NOT want sex then you are fighting the good fight; you are also fighting the WRONG fight.

Still, there are good reasons for men not wanting to deal with marriage and relationships. A study was conducted by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University of 60 single, heterosexual men of different backgrounds, between the ages of 25-33 [3]. The NMP wanted to understand why some men didn’t want to deal with marriage. The project results revealed the top ten reasons why men won’t commit, or don’t want to get married:

  •  They can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past.
  • They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabitating rather than marrying.
  • They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks
  • They want to wait until they are older to have children.
  • They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.
  • They are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn’t appeared yet.
  • They face few social pressures to marry.
  • They are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.
  • They want to own a house before they get a wife.
  • They want to enjoy single life for as long as possible. [4]

So, the outlook may not be as great for those seeking marriage IF that man isn’t interested.

The solution to all of this is the understanding of what that man truly wants at that time. If he says he isn’t ready for marriage, then he isn’t. However, don’t think he will pass up sex just because he isn’t in a relationship. Sex can be too good to pass up (for him). Rather, just try to find the man that wants what you want. Or, you can be happily single and not focus your time on any of this.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!!!

Enhanced by Zemanta