This is, by far, one of my favorite J-Dilla solo jams (next to “Like This”). If there is anybody not understanding the subject matter, I will explain. It gets into the idea of having more than one significant other. I must admit that Dilla does get really raw with it on this track. Most would probably cringe and shake their head. Yet, the hypnotic rhythms usually cover for the unabridged mentality he is taking on male-female relations. In turn, the song is melodically attractive and subjectively left field.

Which brings about the next question:

Is it possible to be in love with more than one person?

Oh, hell. I think it is time for me to tackle a topic that plagues some relationships nowadays. Then again, I’m like Bonecrusher: never scared.

My answer: of course you can. **awaits the tomato throwing and jeers**

Hey, I already know I shall catch flack for this…..

People have not realized that love can exist in a system that does not deal with monogamy. In “Why We Love,” Dr. Helen Fisher makes reference to a human’s ability to love and desire more than one person by pointing out that we have three mating drives — lust, romantic love, and attachment [1]. There are different reasons for mating, so there are chances that there will be different reasons to love a person. Also, the idea of monogamy can be confounding. Monogamous people desire monogamous relationships; yet, it begs the question as to “why?” they want them [2]. Is there a spiritual ideal? Is there selfishness? Maybe there is a point to want to concentrate on only one person? The reasoning needs to be questioned also. So, to be honest about loving more than one person, we have to be honest about our dedication to monogamy that goes beyond disease control and cultural constructs.

Hey, I can’t hate on that!!!

But the problem is that the situation is “tricky”. Research done by William Jankowiak (University of Nevada) and Helen Gerth (University of Nevada) noted that, while possible, trying to love two people at the same time concluded in problematic situations [3]. The two researchers do believe that concurrent love (love for more than one person) is high possible and highly risky. They explain the issues as follows:

Because romantic passion and its sibling companionate love have their separate endocrinological components, the love states can distilled and exist separate from one another to a large degree. However, in time, passionate love tends to move toward a more companionship based or oxytocin influenced love. Whenever that occurs, cognitive dissonance arises as the two lovers that embody these endpoints of the love spectrum can no longer be readily or easily separated. Because the love experiences now occupy a similar category or cognitive geography, dictates of time and emotional commitment from cultural influences create a need to make a choice that the individual, driven by an internal need for both, agonizes over making. The blurring of categories and emotional experiences present a severe challenge to the individual’s motivational hierarchy of values that ultimately undermines his or her ability to manage concurrent love relationships. It is the inability to maintain the separate love types that accounts for concurrent love’s inherent instability. [4]

Basically, the love that one has merges into a unified feeling. With that, combined with cultural influences our society has for love, having two lovers becomes “a headache”. So, for those that may venture into this: please work to understand if you are “ready” for this type of love.

Great, right? See more artwork at!

Loving more than one person is possible and highly concerning. Our society has constructed the idea of monogamy for so long that a different construct of love seems unrealistic. Yet, they still exist. However, many people have failed to culturally implement any ideal towards loving more than one person. In short, loving more than one person is a emotional/sexual reality that eventually becomes a culturally influenced conundrum.

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!

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