As Mr. Cheeks and the Lost Boys engulf my ears with some throwback goodness about loving more than one woman, I take time to think about monogamy. As a society, we push this ideal about “one woman, one man”. Yet, when one brings up polygamy, polyandry, or polyamory, people quickly give the side eye. Why? Maybe it goes against their ingrained selfishness. Maybe it (having more than one) is deemed as selfish itself. Whatever the case may be, monogamy will always be an aspect of relationships in our society.
The magical question:
Why do men feel the need to have multiple sex partners if they are in a relationship?
Good question. My answer is this: the same reason why women choose to have more than one purse and multiple pairs of shoes in different colors!
Seriously, there are some concrete reasons as to why men may genuinely not be monogamous:
1.) Monogamy is not in their being: We push the idea of monogamy around like it is what we SHOULD do. However, it goes against our animalistic nature . Before anyone says “But the Bible tells you…”, please sit down. It may be Sunday, but I’m not trying to go to Sunday School. I’m talking about a person’s nature. Everyone isn’t meant to be monogamous . People can have their feelings about it. I don’t care about the morality vote at this moment. Just accept the truth of it all and move on.
2.) Watching too much Bill Bellamy: Some men just want to be players. I understand that. Whether it is for the ego stroke or sex addiction, they have to feel that need to conquer . I understand it. However, if that is the goal (ego boost) then it won’t last long. That house of cards will fall.
3.) Too much of a good thing: Let us be honest: sex is great. Is it the most important part of a relationship? No. Is it essential? Yes, unless you don’t have sex. Plus, sex is healthy . Some men, in their own warped way, just feel the need to be gratified.
So, if you are dealing with someone that feels the need to have multiple sex partners then maybe you should just keep it moving. Now, if that magical moment occurs in which he feels the need to be monogamous, see what happens. However, that may be rare. You may have to chalk it up as a loss. Find someone that wants what you want: exclusivity.
‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect.