“I don’t need a man. Jesus is all the man that I need!”

Now, there are plenty of people that would cheer at this commentary. They would get their Martin Luther King church fans to cool themselves off. Once cooled down, they would relax as they gave their “amen” chorus. Hell, they would even exchange a high five or two. For the record, plenty of people see that the previous statement about a woman’s love for Jesus is appropriate.

Jesus Is THE MAN

And you know what: they may be right. If there is any man that a woman should desire, it should be the son of God. As perfect as he was, he still walked among the lowlifes, thotties, and hood figures. Jesus represents that balance between the street and the suave. So, ladies, it does make sense that “Jesus would be your boo”.

Jesus 1

However, I have noticed that there is more than one woman staking the claim in Jesus’s heart. I am not sure how Jesus has found time to be boo’ed up with all of you. Still, this is an impressive feat within itself. I can see why many men look up to the son of God. Jesus is the only man I know (outside of Hugh Heffner) that has the innate ability to juggle multiple women with ease.

Jesus Cannot Be Held Down By Just One Woman

Then, I realized the truth of it all: Jesus is heavily promiscuous with a strong pimp hand.

Now before any of you are insulted by my insinuation, please remember that this is an observation. I am not the one claiming Jesus as “my boo”. No, that is a lot of the women out there doing that. I am not the one making claims that “Jesus is the best father my children has ever had”. You would have to look around you to find these maidens. Don’t get mad; I am just stating the facts.

Jesus 3

Ironically, the same women that would shun anything close to being in a polygamist relationship readily claim a man that is probably “shared with millions of others”. You might be right: Jesus may be your man. But, he is also serving the same role for others. If you do not mind sharing your man, then that is fine. Still, if you don’t like sharing then you might need to hook up with a “common man”. The “love of Jesus” cannot be hampered by just picking one woman.

Didn’t Kanye try to tell you all that “love is cursed by monogamy”? Well, do not curse the love of Jesus by withholding is love from the other women he is in an amorous relationship with.

Still, can any of these women take Jesus to court for a child support check? I am just asking.

Jesus Has Love For ALL The Women

If many women want to claim Jesus as “their boo”, then how can you get mad at a man trying to have more than one woman? You already exacerbated the polygamist mentality by the lot of you “married to Jesus” types staking claim to one man. Yet, most of you would frown and poke your lips out if a man tried to have more than one woman? Don’t you think that is a little unfair?

Spread game, Jesus. Spread game to all.

Spread game, Jesus. Spread game to all.

So, you can claim Jesus all you want. But be warned: Jesus won’t replace a real man nor will he just settle for your love. Jesus wants the love of all the women out there. If you are fine with that, then I am happy to see this happen. However, someone as prosperous as Jesus has to share his love across many miles and many moons.

Which begs the question: how does it feel to have your man be shared with millions?

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!

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