My man Charles Hamilton used to make it happen for me with this track. I’m not sure whether or not I posted this before. Then again, I don’t care. It explains enough to make plenty of sense. Beyond anything, Charles could tap into those relationship emotions.

Too bad he is probably somewhere recovering his lost life. But I digress.

Question:

I would like to get some advice should I stay with this guy or not.

I been with this guy for 2 1/2 years, in the beginning we talked about getting married. I was under the impression that we would. We plan to move to a different state. Now he tells me he doesn’t know if he wants to be married. Some days he says he does; some days he says he don’t.

He said it has nothing to do with me. He has been engaged at least 3 times in his life, and his last girlfriend was with him for 5 yrs. He really was hurt behind the break up they was getting married.

We live together but we are more like roommates. At most, we share money and vehicles. He does not touch me unless he wants sex. He says he is not the romantic type, but at times he can be romantic. Also he is down about losing his job. Should I be here for him until he gets on his feet? Or should I leave him?

Answer:

Oh, okay.

Okay, okay...let me stop joking around.

Okay, okay…let me stop joking around.

Well, here is my take on it: he is obviously scared of being hurt. You need to realize that he is afraid of failing due to the pattern of getting engaged-just-to-not-get-married. Being with someone for multiple years without it becoming anything can be a tough experience. When you have failed at a relationship in the past (a long one), your tolerance for failure becomes null (if not nonexistent). So, you need to take into consideration that he still hasn’t let go of the problems he dealt with in his previous relationship.

Precipitation it is!

Precipitation it is!

Another thing that is reigning (or raining, if you like figurative language using precipitation) is the fact that he is JOBLESS. Your typical man may feel helpless, hopeless, and even emasculated if he isn’t earning income. You know how it is: a man feels their worth when they can take care of their families. He probably feels as if he can’t even do anything for you. Plus, would you want to get married with no quality wedding funding?

courthouse wedding

Then again, you can always go to the court house. That still doesn’t solve the job situation.

What needs to happen is this: you both need to figure out WHAT made the previous relationships fall apart. From there, you both can avoid those pitfalls that have him actually apprehensive in the first place. After that is the job hunting. Hopefully, he can rise out of his funk and shower his self-esteem with self-worth flavored bar of Ivory soap. In the end, the most you can do is help your man get it together before you consider your next move.

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!

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