Sexuality is one aspect that is very hard to ignore. Companies use it to sell products. People either embrace it or try to control it. Some think it is of the Devil while others feel that God wants us to enjoy it. Regardless of what side is chosen, sexuality will always be an important part of humanity. In the end, humanity has to fully embrace all the aspects that come along with sexuality.

Yet, this mentality does not always follow the female persuasion in this situation. Darryl Frierson (@diggame of wrote an impressive article dealing with the “Men and the Madonna ‘Ho’ Complex”:

I hear some married men complaining because they thought they were going to have more sex now that they were married. They get mad and project this on their wide like she’s doing something wrong (which she very well maybe). But, at the same time, you knew how she was before you got married. So why do you expect something to change JUST because of the marriage?  I’ve heard from many married couples that you marry the person for who they are standing in front of you, not for what you expect them to be just because you’re married. Its alright if you want to be with that woman, but don’t expect her to be anything more than who she is. If she decides to flip it up and get more sexual chalk it up as a plus but understand people are who they are going to be. Can you accept her either way? [1]

Not only was the article intriguing, but the responses to it were even more surprising. There were so many arguing for or against, that it only confirmed the divide that can sometime keep men and women in conflict. In turn, I do believe that both sexes will remain at odds over a simple aspect about sex.

What is my chocolate covered lie? Oh, let me make it simple in its complexity: sexual liberation has sexually liberated the female in society.

That was a mouthful, wasn’t it? I hope so. The rest of this article is going to make the average sound like Mushmouth off of Fat Albert. Obekaybe? Obekaybe.

The Good

Now that women are in a time that they can be sexually liberated, certain stigmas are warded off. Women can easily have multiple partners and not worry about being stoned or wearing a red “A” across their chest. It is as if women could take on a more “manly” role in their relationships. Some of these women could “soil their royal oats”. This new feeling of “sexual liberation” has given women a chance to “be free”.

Society has a big play in how things have changed. Aforementioned feminism movements and loosened divorce laws of the 70’s helped guide this along (see previous article). This easily let to the understanding and self-efficacy that harbored the increase in sexual liberation. Also, there is the inclusion of TV Shows in pop culture (Friends, Sex and the City) that gave way to different ideals on sexuality [2]. I guess Samantha was as cool as Carrie when it came to entertaining and engaging females. Therefore, society has accepted this freedom of sexual preference.

The Bad

There is only one problem in this situation: all that glitters is not gold.

With societal glorification put into play, some of the “sexual liberation” does have some drawbacks. Those aforementioned TV shows that pushed women to “be free” could have also caused certain stigmas to happen. What was once thought of as “women winning” has turned into “women losing”. After a while, a person that works to avoid being labeled is once again being labeled. The meaning is this: now these “sexually liberated” women have to act and be “sexually liberated” for their partners. In short, the situation turned pretty foreboding in hindsight.

Another issue to deal with is the sexual make-up of the woman. First of all, women are more likely to develop an attachment to a male after the first sexual encounter [3]. I explained this in an earlier blog post (check here to see what I am talking about). Second, many men don’t always develop the same feelings as women after first sexual encounter. Many men, depending upon their sexual prowess/promiscuity, may develop a lack of interest afterward [4]. So, with all the sexual liberation that may exist, nature has another opinion on everything.

The Ugly

Now there is a question that needs to be asked: did men or women benefit the most from all of this? The answer is going to surprise you: men. Because they are over supplied, and less in demand, women enter into the spirit of men’s penchant for recreational sex [5]. That becomes a problem for a woman in the mood for “natural selection”. Even further, there are those that look to manipulate this “female sexual freedom” for their own means to an end [6]. Consequently, women looking to be used no further end up being used even further.

The Skinny

The thought of “feminine sexual liberation” is a misnomer. While many women may feel “liberated” by expressing their sexuality, society will feel otherwise. In addition, circumstances (lacking relationships, diseases, pregnancy, and emotional detachment) will only further the cause of being “sexually restrained”. Maybe, just maybe, some restraint will help the “sexually liberated” female. Once that happens, we may all feel that women can be safe within their sexual expression.

‘Nuff said and ‘Nuff respect!