Warning: what I am going to talk about isn’t for the prude or highly religious. It is, however, for the sexually secure, the carnal, and those that want to understand their own sexuality. This is your warning.

Porn Star was a pretty good song coming from a pretty good album. T.I. wanted to bring the sultry and sexy jam to entice the ladies. The music works to entice ears during those “midnight oil burning” hours. The lyrics get graphic enough without being totally crass. So, it can be said that the song has a nice amount of sex appeal.

Yet, this type of “porn” is warranted. What happens when the porn that you are around isn’t wanted at all?

Question:

I have this situation. Let me explain:

My boyfriend has a porn problem. At first, I would catch the website links in the web browser. That was the first problem. Then, I caught him butt naked with a porno on the computer as he laid and “did his thing”. That was the last straw. He didn’t get 2 strikes to “be out”.

I didn’t break up with him, though. I tried to talk it out with him.

The biggest issue I have with it is that I find it offensive. Why would he want to look at porn when he can look at me? He should find me attractive enough to not want to look at some porn whore on a screen. He says he has a porn addiction. Still, I want him to stop depending on porn to “get his rocks off”.

How should I approach this problem?

Answer:

You already talked to him once. The smartest thing you did was address the issue. So, you took responsibility for your feelings and concerns. Instead of sulking, you took action. Thus, you should be commended for it.

internet porn 2

As far as I am concerned, he has to take the time to solve his “porn addiction”. You have to understand the possibility of your mate being hooked on pixels/searching/constant visual novelty [1]. I am not sure he “wants other women” moreso than he enjoys the things that he sees. You can even liken porn addiction (especially on the internet) to that of video game addiction: it doesn’t spill over to real life (meaning: sex addiction) [2]. Thus, if he is an addict, then he needs some counseling.

internet porn

Another concern to consider is if he is a true addict in the first place. In recent studies, fewer than 1% of people report that they have had problems in their life due to difficulties controlling their sexual behaviors, including watching porn [3]. So, while there are some problems with self-control, many feel that their lives are in control. Plus, our society has not taught men how to identify and negotiate their sexual desires and/or needs [4]. In turn, you really have to make sure if he has an addiction or lacks self-control and responsibility.

internet porn 3

In the end, you shouldn’t take any sort of feelings or responsibility for his actions. You addressed his “addiction” and you want him to improve. However, he has to figure out whether or not he even has an addiction. Understandably, you still want to hold onto feelings of being “inferior” or “not enough”. Still, should a double cheeseburger feel like they are not enough when a fat ass over-eater wants a milk shake afterwards?

double cheeseburger

No.

He is a man. Let him man up about his porn issues. Point blank. Period.

‘Nuff Said and ‘Nuff Respect!!!

Enhanced by Zemanta